Trinkets of Enlightenment

My sister is a senior with college on the horizon.  That makes me old. I've been thinking of things I wish I knew when I was a freshman that no one told me. That's what I get for being the oldest I suppose...

1. Start saving your quarters now... Your underwear will thank you.
2. Don't tell your roommates about your secret stash of candy.
2a. Don't let the ants find your secret stash of candy.
3. That creepy kid that keeps looking at you in class... Yeah. He's gonna ask you out.
4. Yes, books are expensive. No, you will not read all of them... despite your best intentions.
5. Girls are gross. By the end of this nothing will phase you...
6. Don't wear heels when it snows. Ever.
7. Don't stalk other people on Facebook in class. Yes, everyone can see what you are doing.
8. No monster or rapist will ever hide in your closet or under your bed. They will not fit and they will be thoroughly frightened by the amount of crap you have.