Sundance Tips

Want to look like you're a big shot at the Sundance Film Festival? I'll give you some tippy tips so you don't look like a gawking tourist...

1. When you see a celebrity, don't be a gawking tourist. This means no squealing, awkward moaning, or touches grabbing.
2. Own an iPhone or at the very least a large Blackberry that is cemented to your ear or fingertips. Use a Bluetooth and confuse the crap out of the people sitting next to by making them think that you are talking to them. Give them weird looks when the show their confused face.
3. Never under any, any circumstances take public transportation.
4. Look like you're not cold. You've spent the last three weeks in your chateau in the Alps anyway, so you should be plenty adjusted.
5. Have a large Polynesian man follow you around and shove people out of the way when they get too close.
6. Don't try on fur coats at the fur shop... you already own six, you couldn't possibly fit another one into your closet. Besides, it's not "green" anyway.
7. Have one of your friends follow you around like a sketchball with a nice camera and a huge lens. But you've never seen him, okay?