Attention Shoppers

I feel like I've worked in retail long enough to have the right to shell out a bit of advice.

1. Do not ask me for a room when I'm with a customer at the register. Clearly I'm in the middle of something, I will get to you in a moment. Do not give me dirty looks.
2. Please watch your children. I'm not a babysitter. (They don't pay me near enough...) Shelves are not benches and beaded bracelets are not tug of war toys.
3. If an item has a price tag, 9 times out of 10 it is that price. Are you really going to make me check the price of that top three times? Really? If you really liked the blouse, you'd get it.
4. Don't chuck all of your clothes on the floor in the fitting room. Yes, it is my job to put the clothes away. And I don't really mind if I have to do all of the buttons. Just put the stuff on the hangers. It seriously takes 30 seconds of your life.
5. Everything we have is out on the floor. (There are few exceptions to this...very few.) If we have more in the back I'm happy to go look, but I will offer first.
6. Please put on clothes when you open the door to the dressing room. No one wants to see your old lady boobs in your old lady bra.
7. There is no reason to try the same piece of clothing on in every color. Just try one on. If it fits, go pick out the other colors you want.

And finally...
8. If you are returning stolen goods do not tell me some elaborate lie as to why you are returning six pairs of size 10 capri sandals. We both know what you're doing. Oh, and if you could spray a little Fabreze on the clothes that would be awesome. The cigarette/pot stench gives me a headache.